My exciting life...

There's nothing quite like having the cops called on you twice in one day because you have an angry tenant who refused to move their stuff out/do their final cleaning check so you fail them and charge them $85 for getting the place cleaned. Oh wait, never mind, I know something a little more exciting...getting pushed by the father of said tenant because you still refuse to do their final check-out. Oh wait, that was David, but it was still exciting. Too bad both calls to the cops resulted in NOTHING happening on their part. If only their threats would result in something. It was a nice try though, I have to admit. Don't you just HATE when managers are the devil because they give you over a week's notice to get something done and you refuse to follow the THOROUGH directions and then the cops won't help you out either? Sometimes you just have to laugh or you'll go insane. ;)

Dear Poking-and-Prodding doctors/nurses,

I'm terrified of you and am SO not looking forward to Wednesday when you start your weekly "inspection" to see how far I'm progressing. I'd rather you left me alone until I'm in utter pain, in the hospital, and BEGGING for an epidural. Until that happens, I'd be much obliged if you kept your hands to yourself. Please oh please don't have Strep B. and be stuck with the penicilin drip. I can't take much more of your testing, blood-drawing, and interferring. Also, unless I'm 10 centimeteres dilated, please don't give me any updates. I'll just get way too excited if I'm dilated at all and will be useless because of anticipation.
In other better news, we MOVE on SATURDAY! Hello more-than-twice the space and a baby room/nursery. And by "we", I actually mean David will be the one moving because I'm too big and pregnant to be lifting or helping with anything (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! I've officially put myself on "maternity leave" whenever there is something I don't want to help with). A new(er) place right before Easter??...Things are definitely looking up. Now if I can just get motivated to finish the pumper pads I started 3 months ago, I'll be much closer to having our little man. Why do I get these crazy ideas in my head? I should have went to Babies R' Us and bought one already ready and assembled for me. Oh well, it will be adorable when I'm done. If not, I'll be running down there last minute on the way to the hospital because I like to procrastinate. Normally I'm not a procrastinator in the slightest, but when I'm nervous about things, I can ignore them for weeks on end. In fact, I'm still in denial about how babies are born. I'm waiting for the stork to arrive on my doorstep next month. ;)

Dear Stretch Marks,

Why do you keep getting bigger, longer, and more red when I lather you in body butter 24-7?? What a crock. Seeing as this is my first baby, I thought you wouldn't show your ugly head until child 2 or 3. Good thing I would never wear a bikini in my life or I would be even more mad. You have made me lose my extremely soft and pleasant baby skin that I have always had. I always loved me skin until you showed up. Thanks a bunch! You hurt and itch and I despise you. Please leave me alone or at least stop multiplying and elongating. Also, take your friend Mr. Heartburn with you when you leave. I could do without both of you.

P.S. really?? heartburn from brownies?? Really??

Dear Maternity clothes,

I don't know if you were supposed to fit all the way until the end of the pregnancy or not but I'm sitting here at almost 8 months and things are getting a little too snug for comfort. My rather large wardrobe that my friend Amy gave me is now severly limited to the few giant shirts that still fit...yes, the same giant shirts that when she first dropped them off I thought to myself "if these EVER fit me I will kill myself." My pants still fit so hopefully they'll last the remaining 5 weeks....make that 2.5 weeks until I'm "full-term" and then I'll be on the treadmill 24-7 until I can get this baby out. I'm sure I'll regret that the second he does come when 2:00 a.m. and 4:00 feedings come around. I figure since I NEVER sleep now anyhow, I might as well get to hug and kiss our little sweetie. Luckily, I ordered a non-crying, sleep-through-the-night newborn ahead of time. :) I've been mostly fine with this last trimester up until lately. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I never understood that saying until I got pregnant. All I do is waddle and sweat and be uncomfortable. Couple that with the fact that I feel like I'm stuck in a giant fat suit and things aren't going so great. Can I just meet my sweet little man yet? He's plenty big now if you ask me. Please oh Please be one of the 5% that come early. I know, wishful thinking.