Dear Stretch Marks,
Why do you keep getting bigger, longer, and more red when I lather you in body butter 24-7?? What a crock. Seeing as this is my first baby, I thought you wouldn't show your ugly head until child 2 or 3. Good thing I would never wear a bikini in my life or I would be even more mad. You have made me lose my extremely soft and pleasant baby skin that I have always had. I always loved me skin until you showed up. Thanks a bunch! You hurt and itch and I despise you. Please leave me alone or at least stop multiplying and elongating. Also, take your friend Mr. Heartburn with you when you leave. I could do without both of you.
P.S. really?? heartburn from brownies?? Really??
6 comments:
Ah, I remember the heartburn at the end. So much fun :)
Hang in there. Can't wait to meet little Sebastian.
I'm so sorry Claire! I know how you feel. I have AWFUL stretch marks. Some of the ones on my sides are almost an inch wide. :( Don't worry, He will be totally worth it!
This made me laugh. You are funny, I wish I was there to see your preggo belly and your little man!
keep your eye on the prize, sister, keep your eye on the prize. :)
HAHAHA, Claire you are hillarious. Good luck, can't wait to see him
Dear Claire,
Don't hate us--we are your FRIEND. Piggies love stretch marks, it's a sign of status. Please stop trying to destroy us with your devil cocoa butter. We just want to make you beeeeeeee-autiful! We loooooove you. :)
Love, Your Stretch Marks
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